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slipping_away20 December 1996, late afternoon. Sixth-year Slytherin boys' dormitory.
Draco snickered to himself as he dug out his seventh gift for Blaise. He prevented himself from bouncing impatiently, because that was just unseemly, but he couldn't resist the pleased smile that tugged at his mouth as he tossed his gift on Blaise's bed and then looked innocently in his journal, as though he was busy amusing himself at his classmates' expense.
Blaise was on his bed writing something to his mother when a gift landed on the blanket next to him. He looked up and saw Draco sitting there pretending not to have thrown it. "Don't throw things, Draco. So rude!" He crawled to the end of the bed and opened the trunk at the foot, rummaging through it for a minute before throwing an elaborately-wrapped gift at Draco. "Happy Christmas, berk."
Draco snorted, laughing to himself at the weird way Blaise contorted himself to get into his trunk, and then abandoned that train of thought to pounce on his gift. There, so far, had been a week of utter ridiculousness, and Draco was anticipating that today would be more of the same. At least, he hoped so.
Blaise clambered back into position and picked up his gift. "Ready?"
Draco gave Blaise a blinding grin. "Ready!" They raised their arms, prepared to tear into their presents, and counted in unison. "One... Two... Three!" Draco ripped into the gift, throwing paper everywhere just for the joy of it, and blinked down at the gift in his hands. It looked extraordinarily familiar. He looked over at Blaise, his mouth stretching into a grin, and then he began to laugh, full and whole-hearted, clutching the picture of Blaise as he fell back, laughing loudly.
After the count of three, Blaise had immediately shredded the wrapping paper, wadded it into a ball, and threw it over his shoulder. He looked at the gift in his hand and stared at it for a moment, wondering if somehow he had opened his own gift to Draco. Then he looked at Draco, who began laughing, and Blaise saw what had happened. He clenched the framed photo to his chest and laughed loudly, toppling over on the bed and almost falling off.
Draco laughed long and hard, pausing only long enough to catch his breath as he rolled onto his side, still squeezing the picture to his chest. "Well," he drawled after another moment, "I must admit that it is a very good picture of you."
"It is, isn't it? Thank you, Draco, it's very thoughtful. I think I'll put it right here." He shoved some stuff off his bedside table and firmly set the picture there, adjusting it so it was looking out at Draco and anyone who walked into the dorm.
"I think I agree." Draco moved his things, pushing them back in a more sedate manner than Blaise had, and positioned the picture so it would stare out the door when opened. "This is brilliant."
"Best seventh day of Christmas ever. I really feel like the responsible thing to do would be to share the joy of Christmas with our classmates."
"It would be an immensely charitable thing to do." Draco paused. "We could start with Nott over there."
Blaise craned his neck around, looking behind him. Nott was over there. "Absolutely." Blaise looked around for his wand and found it on the floor with some of his other possessions. He picked it up and duplicated the photo, complete with frame. Then he covered it with obnoxious red and green paper and a big stupid bow.
Draco thought it only reasonable that he and Blaise should present it to Nott together, as it was Draco's idea, so it was with great pomp and circumstance that they made it over to Nott's bed.
Blaise held the hideous package out to Theo with both hands. He and Draco were both grinning like loons. "Happy Christmas, Theo!"
Theo looked at them over his book, arching his eyebrow. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"
Draco gave an encouraging gesture. "It's Christmas!"
"So you got me a gift?" Theo gave them both a lopsided smile. "You shouldn't have."
"I know. That's why we're such great friends!" Blaise shoved the gift in Theo's direction. "You're welcome!" He gave another huge smile.
Theo took a deep breath and accepted the gift against his better judgement. He unwrapped it slowly, darting looks in Blaise's and Draco's direction, unnerved by the wide, slightly mad smiles on their faces. He opened the wrapping only to find a picture of Blaise. It was a rather stunning picture, but Theo was clueless as to why they had given it to him. "Thank you." He tried a sweet smile.
"You're welcome," Blaise repeated, and he looked at Draco, who was clearly struggling to keep a straight face. The sight of it made Blaise lose control. He collapsed into laughter again, falling onto Goyle's bed.
Draco all but fell down on the floor, trying to hold his laughter in as he crouched, burying his face in his arms. His shoulders were shaking with laughter.
Theo shook his head, vaguely amused at his roommates' insanity. "Enjoying yourself, are you?"
Blaise's laughter was making breathing difficult, so he just nodded weakly, his eyes watering.
"Are you going to give everyone in Hogwarts a picture of you for Christmas?" Theo smiled again and set the picture on his bedside table for lack of anywhere better to put it. "I'm sure everyone would appreciate it."
Blaise and Draco looked at each other, then back at Theo. "Yes," Blaise said, "We are, now that you mention it." His eyes were going slightly wild at the idea. He wondered if they could really do it.
"You'd probably have to enlist the house elves," Theo said mildly.
Draco raised his head at that, his smile still so broad it makes his face hurt. "That's brilliant."
"How many people are at Hogwarts?" Blaise asked nobody in particular. "We'd need so many pictures!"
"Elf?" Draco's voice was imperious, and he took the opportunity to stand and regain his composure. When the elf appeared, he continued. "How many people are there at Hogwarts?"
"1,189, sir," the elf said. "Without the ghosts, the poltergeist, or the elves included, sir."
Draco nodded and turned away from the elf, who vanished. "You get that, Blaise? We need 1,189 pictures!"
"Minus three," Theo interjected.
Blaise looked at Theo, not understanding.
"You, Draco and I already have one," Theo explained.
"Oh. Splendid point." Draco nodded.
"Did you want to include Professor Binns?" Theo asked, against his common sense. "He wasn't included, because he's not alive, but I imagine he would be disappointed if he didn't receive one."
"Absolutely Professor Binns!" Blaise paused for a moment. "We better start getting all these ready. That's going to take a while."
"Have fun," Theo said, returning to his book.
"Nonsense," Draco pulled Theo's book out of his hands. "You're going to help, obviously."
"I'm going to help?" Theo could feel a long suffering sigh building. He obviously needed to run away whenever these two were together. "Why do I need to help?"
"Because it's your idea. Therefore, you have to take some of the work for it."
Theo flopped himself onto his bed. "Just ask the elves to do it."
"What if they get it wrong? Can you imagine how embarrassed Blaise would be if his ears were enlarged and he didn't know about it?"
Theo gave a solemn nod. "That would be tragic."
"Oh, shut it and start making some damn pictures," Blaise said. He pulled out his wand again, still on Goyle's bed, and started Duplicating.
Draco sat on the bed next to Blaise and started Duplicating stacks of pictures already in their frames.
Theo sat on his bed and shook his head before looking at both Draco and Blaise. "You owe me." Draco waved a hand negligently, and Theo began Duplicating the pictures, wondering how on earth he'd become their accomplice.
***
They finished Duplicating the pictures--over a thousand, and Draco was annoyed by the monotony--and he gathered the pictures meant for Slytherin into a single pile.
"Crabbe and Goyle and Meath first?" Blaise handed a picture to Theo and another to Draco. He grabbed one himself, too, put a big red bow on it, and placed it on Goyle's nightstand. "Do you think there should be a tag?"
"I don't think so." Theo shook his head. "I think it's going to be obvious who it's from."
"Oh, but it's not just from me, it's from Draco, too! There should definitely be a tag." Blaise decided.
"I agree," Draco grinned and aimed his wand, conjuring a tag for each picture.
Blaise looked at one and read. "Happy Christmas, from Draco, Blaise, and Theo." He looked at Draco. "Shouldn't that be Blaise, Draco, and Theo?"
"What am I doing on there?" Theo asked. "I don't want my name on this."
"Of course you do." Draco waved a hand. "You should be honored that the three of us are giving gifts together."
"Very true," Blaise said, and changed all the tags to give himself top billing. "It's an exciting moment for you."
"I'm breathless with excitement." Theo stood and went to Braddock's bedside, setting the picture on his nightstand.
Blaise ignored Theo and said, "So that's all of us. Seventh years next?"
Theo shook his head in amusement. "Are we going by year, or gender first?"
"We can get into the boy's dorms." Draco paused in consideration. "We should take care of them first and then get Daphne to give the girls their pictures."
"Right. I'll go do the seventh years, you find Daphne to do the girls, Theo will do the fifth years, and then we'll all scare the little ones together." Blaise gathered an arm full of pictures for the seventh years. "Ready?"
"You two do peculiar things for fun." Still, Theo shrugged and shrunk his pictures, sticking them into the pocket of his robes before he sauntered out the door, heading toward the fifth year dorms.
~*~
After they finished delivering the pictures to the Slytherin boys, Blaise, Draco, and Theo went back in their dorm. Blaise looked at the hundreds of pictures left. "There are way too many of these things. I'm not delivering all these."
"Oh, good." Theo flopped down onto his bed. "I thought you might be mad enough to consider it."
Draco nudged Theo's bed with his shoe and looked at Blaise. "What are we going to do with all of these, then?"
"That's what elves are for, obviously." Blaise cocked his head, looked at nothing in particular, and said, "Elf."
The same house elf appeared again, dusting something off his tea towel. "Yes, sirs?"
Blaise looked down at him. "We need you to deliver some Christmas gifts." He motioned at all the framed pictures on Crabbe, Goyle, and Braddock's beds. "To every student in Hogwarts."
"Daphne's taking the pictures for all the girls. If she isn't finished all ready." Draco rubbed the back of his neck.
"All the Slytherins have been taken care of." Theo looked at the elf, making sure it was aware he was talking to it. "And we'll take care of the professors. So all you'll need to do is deliver the pictures to Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Gryffindor."
The elf looked at the pictures and back to Theo. "Finky is happy to serve sirs," he said, and he and most of the pictures vanished with a crack.
"Where are we going next?" Theo asked. "Shall we start with Professor Snape?"
"Absolutely. We'll start in the dungeons and work our way up." Blaise grabbed a few pictures. "Ready?"
"Hey, wait!" Draco shook his head. "We should save Professor Snape for last. It's less effort that way."
Blaise looked at Draco and shrugged. "Start in the towers and work our way down, then?"
"Sounds good to me," Draco agreed. He reached over and tugged Theo out of his bed. "Come on, Nott. You're going to help us."
"I was hoping to give you support in spirit."
"Nope. You're coming with us," said Blaise. "Come on."
Theo shook his head. "Fine, fine. Which tower are we going for first?" They stood there, silent, and Theo sighed again. "How about this? We'll go take care of each tower individually, and meet up after we're finished?"
Blaise nodded. "Okay. I'll take Trelawney and Sinistra. Draco can have Vector and Flitwick, and you can have McGonagall. We'll meet at Dumbledore's."
"Oh, of course you make me go all the way up to McGonagall's." Theo shook his head and took the picture, heading out of the door with a tiny wave at the other two.
Blaise shrunk his own stack of pictures and put it in his pocket. "See you at Dumbledore's!" He grinned at Draco and left.
~*~
Draco and Theo got to Dumbledore's office to find Blaise waiting impatiently for them, and Draco beamed a happy smile at Blaise. "All delivered."
Blaise looked at the stone gargoyle that guarded Dumbledore's office, and then to Draco. "Should we... knock or something?"
"I don't know." Draco bit his lip as he looked at Dumbledore's gargoyle. "Go knock."
Blaise looked the gargoyle in the eye. "Is the headmaster in?" The gargoyle shook its stone head. "Oh. Well, that's boring." Blaise put the picture on the gargoyle's plinth, and looked at the others.
"Were you hoping Headmaster Dumbledore would be in?" Theo asked. "Were you actually going to personally hand it to him?"
"Well, maybe. I hadn't thought that far ahead."
"I would've made Blaise do it by himself." Draco rubbed his arms as if chilled and then dropped his hands to his sides. "I guess we could go see Warrington next."
"Right, and the Runes professor. Where are there offices?" Blaise asked.
"On the fifth floor." Draco started off in the direction of the stairs. "In the east wing. It's pretty close by." Draco peered at the next landing. "Assuming the stairs don't change any time soon." Theo looked at Blaise with a wry expression and then followed after Draco, using his longer legs to catch up.
~*~
Chris was in his office reading a comic book when he heard laughter in he hall outside. He looked at his door and listened to the voices. They were arguing over who was going to knock, and Chris heard his name a few times. Finally there was a knock at the door. Chris sighed. "Come in."
Theo pushed open the door and sauntered inside. "Hey."
Chris raised an eybrow. "Theo. And Draco and Blaise. To what do I owe the pleasure?"
Theo took one of the chairs and sat. "They have a present that they simply can't wait to give you."
Draco beamed a bright smile and planted the gift in the center of Chris' desk. "Happy Christmas!"
"Happy Christmas to you, too." Chris turned the frame around and saw it contained a portrait of Blaise. It had a red bow. "Wow, erm, cheers.." He looked at them, and Draco and Blaise both burst into laughter. Chris was starting to feel a little uncomfortable. He looked at Theo, who was just sitting there looking mildly amused.
"They're barmy." Theo leaned closer to Chris so he could speak without the other two noticing. "We've been doing this all day. I don't even know why I'm here."
"Well, they've got your name on the tag. ...What do you mean you've been doing it all day? Who else has gotten these?"
"Everyone." Theo shook his head. "They gave each other pictures of Blaise, and found it so funny they decided everyone in Hogwarts needed a copy."
Chris nodded. "I see. Well, it is a very nice picture. I'm still not entirely sure how you got mixed up with these two." Chris looked at Draco and Blaise again, who were still laughing. Blaise had made it to a chair, but Draco looked like he might collapse.
"I--said thank you?"
Chris grunted. "Courtesy. It'll get you every time."
"Suffice to say, I've learned my lesson." Theo cut a look over to Draco and Blaise again, who were just now starting to breathe. "We're almost finished. They made the elves do most of the work."
"Yeah, I was wondering. There's a lot of people in this school." Chris paused. "Are you doing Dumbledore, too?"
"We left it on his gargoyle." Theo shrugged. "They were disappointed."
"The password is 'treacle tarts' if you want to leave it in his office. That would be funnier."
Theo grinned. "That would be. Hey!" Theo waved a hand to get Blaise and Draco's attention. "We've got to go back to Dumbledore's office when we're finished!"
Blaise looked at Theo like he had forgotten he was there. "What? Why?"
Theo rolled his eyes. "So we can present Headmaster Dumbldore's gift to him properly, instead of allowing him to find it on the gargoyle."
"We think it would be funnier," said Chris.
Blaise looked at Chris like he had forgotten he was there. "Oh. Well, I'm not doing it!"
"It was your idea!" Theo protested. "You thought it was funny before you couldn't get in."
"I was going to make Draco do it!"
"What?" Draco looked genuinely alarmed. "I wasn't going to do it!"
"Oh. Well, he'll find it."
"I can't believe you two." Theo shook his head and then quirked a grin at Chris. "You want to do it with me?"
Chris's eyebrow went up again. "Undecided."
Theo beamed a smile. "It'll be fun."
Chris closed his eyes and shook his head a little. "I'm going to regret this, aren't I?"
"Of course not. It'll be our secret."
"Ah ha. Okay, you've talked me into it. I don't think he's here, anyway, so we'll probably just be leaving it on his desk."
"Great!" Theo rose to his feet, quirking an eyebrow at Blaise and Draco. "Are you two coming along with us, or are you just going to wait here?"
Blaise looked aghast. "Absolutely not. We'll do the other professors while you two get expelled."
Theo rolled his eyes. "Why would I be getting expelled when I'm with a staff member?"
Blaise blinked and looked back to Chris. "Oh, right. Never mind, but I'm still not doing it."
"Fine, but I want to be there when you give your present to Professor Snape." Theo grabbed one of Blaise's pictures and headed out the door with Chris in tow.
~*~
Theo and Chris returned, and Theo nudged Draco and Blaise to remind them of their cowardice. "Who's left?"
Blaise boggled at them. "God, what took you so long? It's just Sprout and Snape now!"
Theo shrugged. "So, Prof. Sprout is next?"
Draco frowned at Theo, but ignored him, since Theo was kind of strange anyway. "That's right. Two left, and then we can finally call this to an end."
"To an end, Draco?" Theo arched an eyebrow. "Been having fun with drama, have you?"
"Shut it, Nott." Draco scowled and folded his arms across his chest.
"So Sprout, then. Let's go!" Chris led the way past the kitchens to Professor Sprout's office. Knowing she'd be at the ball, he didn't bother knocking and walked into her office. He put her picture on her desk so she'd see Blaise when she sat down.
Draco peeked a look at Sprout's desk and nodded in approval. "Good choice, Warrington."
"As opposed to a bad one?" Theo stuck his head into the doorway to get a look at them.
Chris looked at Draco and Blaise, who were each holding one picture. "Wait, if it's just Snape now, why do we have two pictures left?"
"Did we make too many?" Draco asked.
"There was another person here, wasn't there?" Theo looked at Chris for confirmation, ignoring Draco and Blaise. "Mr Lupin, isn't it?"
"Oh, right," said Chris, "Anyone know where he's staying?"
Blaise looked confused. "Wait, who?"
"The werewolf, Blaise." Draco's voice was slow and absent, the tone of someone who was repeating something he's said many times before.
"I haven't really seen him around anywhere, except at meals." Theo rubbed the back of his head in confusion.
"I need an elf, please," Chris said, and a house elf appeared. Chris took the picture from Draco's hand and gave it to the elf. "Can you take this to Professor Lupin, please?" The elf took it and vanished without a word.
"Now off to Professor Snape's!" Draco led the way this time. Theo shook his head and fell into step with the lot of them, relieved now that this was almost finished. "Professor Snape!" Draco called as he knocked on the door. "Professor Snape, are you there?"
Remus was alone in the quarters when he heard Draco knocking and calling for Severus. He briefly wondered if he should ignore it, but decided to answer in case it was something important. He stood and walked to the door. Holding a picture of Blaise Zabini in one hand, he opened the door with the other. Four Slytherins were there. "Yes?"
Draco gaped at Lupin, and the four of them stared at him in silence. Eventually, Draco cleared his throat. "Is Professor Snape there?"
It was suddenly very clear to Remus that he had just opened Severus's door in his blue and white pyjamas. This may have been a mistake. "Ah. No, not just now. Can I help you boys?"
"Ah." Draco cleared his throat again.
"We're giving everyone a Happy Christmas gift." Theo stepped forward and pushed Draco gently to the side, taking Draco's picture of Blaise. "I see the elf delivered yours already. Could you make sure Professor Snape gets his?" Theo beamed a smile and thrust the picture out in front of him.
Remus took it. "Of course I will. Anything else I can do for you?" Remus hoped the answer was no.
"That's it!" Theo smiled again. "Thanks. We really appreciate it."
"Any time. And thanks for my picture, boys. Happy Christmas." Remus closed the door and wanted to die.
"Well. That was interesting," said Chris.
Theo nodded, managing to take a deep breath and keep his composure, when he looked over at Draco and Blaise. Draco had a completely baffled look on his face, and Blaise--"Who was that guy?"
Theo shoved his hand over his mouth and started to laugh, his shoulders shaking with mirth.
"Remus Lupin," Draco answered for Blaise. "The werewolf that taught DADA in third year."
"Oh. Why was he in Professor Snape's quarters?" Blaise had to speak up because Chris had started laughing, too.
"I don't know." Draco frowned at Blaise. "I assume he was there for the wolfsbane potion."
Theo leaned against the wall, choking back his laughter and turning away from Draco and Blaise to try and calm himself down.
Chris was looking down with his fingers on his temples, attempting to regain composure. He wasn't sure how Draco and Blaise could be so clueless, and that was just as funny as anything else.
"Oh," said Blaise. "And why are these prats laughing like that?"
"That's an easy one," Draco answered, his face lightening. "It's because they're barmy. Come on, we're finally finished. I'm exhausted."
Chris pulled himself together enough to say, "We should probably give a picture to the elves to thank them for their hard work," and then broke down again.
Draco shook his head, finally joining in on the laughter. "Barmy, the lot of you. Come on, then." Now that their mission was complete, he was looking forward to some down time in the common room. He turned on his heel and began to walk, ignoring the other three that were still losing it behind him.
Draco snickered to himself as he dug out his seventh gift for Blaise. He prevented himself from bouncing impatiently, because that was just unseemly, but he couldn't resist the pleased smile that tugged at his mouth as he tossed his gift on Blaise's bed and then looked innocently in his journal, as though he was busy amusing himself at his classmates' expense.
Blaise was on his bed writing something to his mother when a gift landed on the blanket next to him. He looked up and saw Draco sitting there pretending not to have thrown it. "Don't throw things, Draco. So rude!" He crawled to the end of the bed and opened the trunk at the foot, rummaging through it for a minute before throwing an elaborately-wrapped gift at Draco. "Happy Christmas, berk."
Draco snorted, laughing to himself at the weird way Blaise contorted himself to get into his trunk, and then abandoned that train of thought to pounce on his gift. There, so far, had been a week of utter ridiculousness, and Draco was anticipating that today would be more of the same. At least, he hoped so.
Blaise clambered back into position and picked up his gift. "Ready?"
Draco gave Blaise a blinding grin. "Ready!" They raised their arms, prepared to tear into their presents, and counted in unison. "One... Two... Three!" Draco ripped into the gift, throwing paper everywhere just for the joy of it, and blinked down at the gift in his hands. It looked extraordinarily familiar. He looked over at Blaise, his mouth stretching into a grin, and then he began to laugh, full and whole-hearted, clutching the picture of Blaise as he fell back, laughing loudly.
After the count of three, Blaise had immediately shredded the wrapping paper, wadded it into a ball, and threw it over his shoulder. He looked at the gift in his hand and stared at it for a moment, wondering if somehow he had opened his own gift to Draco. Then he looked at Draco, who began laughing, and Blaise saw what had happened. He clenched the framed photo to his chest and laughed loudly, toppling over on the bed and almost falling off.
Draco laughed long and hard, pausing only long enough to catch his breath as he rolled onto his side, still squeezing the picture to his chest. "Well," he drawled after another moment, "I must admit that it is a very good picture of you."
"It is, isn't it? Thank you, Draco, it's very thoughtful. I think I'll put it right here." He shoved some stuff off his bedside table and firmly set the picture there, adjusting it so it was looking out at Draco and anyone who walked into the dorm.
"I think I agree." Draco moved his things, pushing them back in a more sedate manner than Blaise had, and positioned the picture so it would stare out the door when opened. "This is brilliant."
"Best seventh day of Christmas ever. I really feel like the responsible thing to do would be to share the joy of Christmas with our classmates."
"It would be an immensely charitable thing to do." Draco paused. "We could start with Nott over there."
Blaise craned his neck around, looking behind him. Nott was over there. "Absolutely." Blaise looked around for his wand and found it on the floor with some of his other possessions. He picked it up and duplicated the photo, complete with frame. Then he covered it with obnoxious red and green paper and a big stupid bow.
Draco thought it only reasonable that he and Blaise should present it to Nott together, as it was Draco's idea, so it was with great pomp and circumstance that they made it over to Nott's bed.
Blaise held the hideous package out to Theo with both hands. He and Draco were both grinning like loons. "Happy Christmas, Theo!"
Theo looked at them over his book, arching his eyebrow. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"
Draco gave an encouraging gesture. "It's Christmas!"
"So you got me a gift?" Theo gave them both a lopsided smile. "You shouldn't have."
"I know. That's why we're such great friends!" Blaise shoved the gift in Theo's direction. "You're welcome!" He gave another huge smile.
Theo took a deep breath and accepted the gift against his better judgement. He unwrapped it slowly, darting looks in Blaise's and Draco's direction, unnerved by the wide, slightly mad smiles on their faces. He opened the wrapping only to find a picture of Blaise. It was a rather stunning picture, but Theo was clueless as to why they had given it to him. "Thank you." He tried a sweet smile.
"You're welcome," Blaise repeated, and he looked at Draco, who was clearly struggling to keep a straight face. The sight of it made Blaise lose control. He collapsed into laughter again, falling onto Goyle's bed.
Draco all but fell down on the floor, trying to hold his laughter in as he crouched, burying his face in his arms. His shoulders were shaking with laughter.
Theo shook his head, vaguely amused at his roommates' insanity. "Enjoying yourself, are you?"
Blaise's laughter was making breathing difficult, so he just nodded weakly, his eyes watering.
"Are you going to give everyone in Hogwarts a picture of you for Christmas?" Theo smiled again and set the picture on his bedside table for lack of anywhere better to put it. "I'm sure everyone would appreciate it."
Blaise and Draco looked at each other, then back at Theo. "Yes," Blaise said, "We are, now that you mention it." His eyes were going slightly wild at the idea. He wondered if they could really do it.
"You'd probably have to enlist the house elves," Theo said mildly.
Draco raised his head at that, his smile still so broad it makes his face hurt. "That's brilliant."
"How many people are at Hogwarts?" Blaise asked nobody in particular. "We'd need so many pictures!"
"Elf?" Draco's voice was imperious, and he took the opportunity to stand and regain his composure. When the elf appeared, he continued. "How many people are there at Hogwarts?"
"1,189, sir," the elf said. "Without the ghosts, the poltergeist, or the elves included, sir."
Draco nodded and turned away from the elf, who vanished. "You get that, Blaise? We need 1,189 pictures!"
"Minus three," Theo interjected.
Blaise looked at Theo, not understanding.
"You, Draco and I already have one," Theo explained.
"Oh. Splendid point." Draco nodded.
"Did you want to include Professor Binns?" Theo asked, against his common sense. "He wasn't included, because he's not alive, but I imagine he would be disappointed if he didn't receive one."
"Absolutely Professor Binns!" Blaise paused for a moment. "We better start getting all these ready. That's going to take a while."
"Have fun," Theo said, returning to his book.
"Nonsense," Draco pulled Theo's book out of his hands. "You're going to help, obviously."
"I'm going to help?" Theo could feel a long suffering sigh building. He obviously needed to run away whenever these two were together. "Why do I need to help?"
"Because it's your idea. Therefore, you have to take some of the work for it."
Theo flopped himself onto his bed. "Just ask the elves to do it."
"What if they get it wrong? Can you imagine how embarrassed Blaise would be if his ears were enlarged and he didn't know about it?"
Theo gave a solemn nod. "That would be tragic."
"Oh, shut it and start making some damn pictures," Blaise said. He pulled out his wand again, still on Goyle's bed, and started Duplicating.
Draco sat on the bed next to Blaise and started Duplicating stacks of pictures already in their frames.
Theo sat on his bed and shook his head before looking at both Draco and Blaise. "You owe me." Draco waved a hand negligently, and Theo began Duplicating the pictures, wondering how on earth he'd become their accomplice.
***
They finished Duplicating the pictures--over a thousand, and Draco was annoyed by the monotony--and he gathered the pictures meant for Slytherin into a single pile.
"Crabbe and Goyle and Meath first?" Blaise handed a picture to Theo and another to Draco. He grabbed one himself, too, put a big red bow on it, and placed it on Goyle's nightstand. "Do you think there should be a tag?"
"I don't think so." Theo shook his head. "I think it's going to be obvious who it's from."
"Oh, but it's not just from me, it's from Draco, too! There should definitely be a tag." Blaise decided.
"I agree," Draco grinned and aimed his wand, conjuring a tag for each picture.
Blaise looked at one and read. "Happy Christmas, from Draco, Blaise, and Theo." He looked at Draco. "Shouldn't that be Blaise, Draco, and Theo?"
"What am I doing on there?" Theo asked. "I don't want my name on this."
"Of course you do." Draco waved a hand. "You should be honored that the three of us are giving gifts together."
"Very true," Blaise said, and changed all the tags to give himself top billing. "It's an exciting moment for you."
"I'm breathless with excitement." Theo stood and went to Braddock's bedside, setting the picture on his nightstand.
Blaise ignored Theo and said, "So that's all of us. Seventh years next?"
Theo shook his head in amusement. "Are we going by year, or gender first?"
"We can get into the boy's dorms." Draco paused in consideration. "We should take care of them first and then get Daphne to give the girls their pictures."
"Right. I'll go do the seventh years, you find Daphne to do the girls, Theo will do the fifth years, and then we'll all scare the little ones together." Blaise gathered an arm full of pictures for the seventh years. "Ready?"
"You two do peculiar things for fun." Still, Theo shrugged and shrunk his pictures, sticking them into the pocket of his robes before he sauntered out the door, heading toward the fifth year dorms.
~*~
After they finished delivering the pictures to the Slytherin boys, Blaise, Draco, and Theo went back in their dorm. Blaise looked at the hundreds of pictures left. "There are way too many of these things. I'm not delivering all these."
"Oh, good." Theo flopped down onto his bed. "I thought you might be mad enough to consider it."
Draco nudged Theo's bed with his shoe and looked at Blaise. "What are we going to do with all of these, then?"
"That's what elves are for, obviously." Blaise cocked his head, looked at nothing in particular, and said, "Elf."
The same house elf appeared again, dusting something off his tea towel. "Yes, sirs?"
Blaise looked down at him. "We need you to deliver some Christmas gifts." He motioned at all the framed pictures on Crabbe, Goyle, and Braddock's beds. "To every student in Hogwarts."
"Daphne's taking the pictures for all the girls. If she isn't finished all ready." Draco rubbed the back of his neck.
"All the Slytherins have been taken care of." Theo looked at the elf, making sure it was aware he was talking to it. "And we'll take care of the professors. So all you'll need to do is deliver the pictures to Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Gryffindor."
The elf looked at the pictures and back to Theo. "Finky is happy to serve sirs," he said, and he and most of the pictures vanished with a crack.
"Where are we going next?" Theo asked. "Shall we start with Professor Snape?"
"Absolutely. We'll start in the dungeons and work our way up." Blaise grabbed a few pictures. "Ready?"
"Hey, wait!" Draco shook his head. "We should save Professor Snape for last. It's less effort that way."
Blaise looked at Draco and shrugged. "Start in the towers and work our way down, then?"
"Sounds good to me," Draco agreed. He reached over and tugged Theo out of his bed. "Come on, Nott. You're going to help us."
"I was hoping to give you support in spirit."
"Nope. You're coming with us," said Blaise. "Come on."
Theo shook his head. "Fine, fine. Which tower are we going for first?" They stood there, silent, and Theo sighed again. "How about this? We'll go take care of each tower individually, and meet up after we're finished?"
Blaise nodded. "Okay. I'll take Trelawney and Sinistra. Draco can have Vector and Flitwick, and you can have McGonagall. We'll meet at Dumbledore's."
"Oh, of course you make me go all the way up to McGonagall's." Theo shook his head and took the picture, heading out of the door with a tiny wave at the other two.
Blaise shrunk his own stack of pictures and put it in his pocket. "See you at Dumbledore's!" He grinned at Draco and left.
~*~
Draco and Theo got to Dumbledore's office to find Blaise waiting impatiently for them, and Draco beamed a happy smile at Blaise. "All delivered."
Blaise looked at the stone gargoyle that guarded Dumbledore's office, and then to Draco. "Should we... knock or something?"
"I don't know." Draco bit his lip as he looked at Dumbledore's gargoyle. "Go knock."
Blaise looked the gargoyle in the eye. "Is the headmaster in?" The gargoyle shook its stone head. "Oh. Well, that's boring." Blaise put the picture on the gargoyle's plinth, and looked at the others.
"Were you hoping Headmaster Dumbledore would be in?" Theo asked. "Were you actually going to personally hand it to him?"
"Well, maybe. I hadn't thought that far ahead."
"I would've made Blaise do it by himself." Draco rubbed his arms as if chilled and then dropped his hands to his sides. "I guess we could go see Warrington next."
"Right, and the Runes professor. Where are there offices?" Blaise asked.
"On the fifth floor." Draco started off in the direction of the stairs. "In the east wing. It's pretty close by." Draco peered at the next landing. "Assuming the stairs don't change any time soon." Theo looked at Blaise with a wry expression and then followed after Draco, using his longer legs to catch up.
~*~
Chris was in his office reading a comic book when he heard laughter in he hall outside. He looked at his door and listened to the voices. They were arguing over who was going to knock, and Chris heard his name a few times. Finally there was a knock at the door. Chris sighed. "Come in."
Theo pushed open the door and sauntered inside. "Hey."
Chris raised an eybrow. "Theo. And Draco and Blaise. To what do I owe the pleasure?"
Theo took one of the chairs and sat. "They have a present that they simply can't wait to give you."
Draco beamed a bright smile and planted the gift in the center of Chris' desk. "Happy Christmas!"
"Happy Christmas to you, too." Chris turned the frame around and saw it contained a portrait of Blaise. It had a red bow. "Wow, erm, cheers.." He looked at them, and Draco and Blaise both burst into laughter. Chris was starting to feel a little uncomfortable. He looked at Theo, who was just sitting there looking mildly amused.
"They're barmy." Theo leaned closer to Chris so he could speak without the other two noticing. "We've been doing this all day. I don't even know why I'm here."
"Well, they've got your name on the tag. ...What do you mean you've been doing it all day? Who else has gotten these?"
"Everyone." Theo shook his head. "They gave each other pictures of Blaise, and found it so funny they decided everyone in Hogwarts needed a copy."
Chris nodded. "I see. Well, it is a very nice picture. I'm still not entirely sure how you got mixed up with these two." Chris looked at Draco and Blaise again, who were still laughing. Blaise had made it to a chair, but Draco looked like he might collapse.
"I--said thank you?"
Chris grunted. "Courtesy. It'll get you every time."
"Suffice to say, I've learned my lesson." Theo cut a look over to Draco and Blaise again, who were just now starting to breathe. "We're almost finished. They made the elves do most of the work."
"Yeah, I was wondering. There's a lot of people in this school." Chris paused. "Are you doing Dumbledore, too?"
"We left it on his gargoyle." Theo shrugged. "They were disappointed."
"The password is 'treacle tarts' if you want to leave it in his office. That would be funnier."
Theo grinned. "That would be. Hey!" Theo waved a hand to get Blaise and Draco's attention. "We've got to go back to Dumbledore's office when we're finished!"
Blaise looked at Theo like he had forgotten he was there. "What? Why?"
Theo rolled his eyes. "So we can present Headmaster Dumbldore's gift to him properly, instead of allowing him to find it on the gargoyle."
"We think it would be funnier," said Chris.
Blaise looked at Chris like he had forgotten he was there. "Oh. Well, I'm not doing it!"
"It was your idea!" Theo protested. "You thought it was funny before you couldn't get in."
"I was going to make Draco do it!"
"What?" Draco looked genuinely alarmed. "I wasn't going to do it!"
"Oh. Well, he'll find it."
"I can't believe you two." Theo shook his head and then quirked a grin at Chris. "You want to do it with me?"
Chris's eyebrow went up again. "Undecided."
Theo beamed a smile. "It'll be fun."
Chris closed his eyes and shook his head a little. "I'm going to regret this, aren't I?"
"Of course not. It'll be our secret."
"Ah ha. Okay, you've talked me into it. I don't think he's here, anyway, so we'll probably just be leaving it on his desk."
"Great!" Theo rose to his feet, quirking an eyebrow at Blaise and Draco. "Are you two coming along with us, or are you just going to wait here?"
Blaise looked aghast. "Absolutely not. We'll do the other professors while you two get expelled."
Theo rolled his eyes. "Why would I be getting expelled when I'm with a staff member?"
Blaise blinked and looked back to Chris. "Oh, right. Never mind, but I'm still not doing it."
"Fine, but I want to be there when you give your present to Professor Snape." Theo grabbed one of Blaise's pictures and headed out the door with Chris in tow.
~*~
Theo and Chris returned, and Theo nudged Draco and Blaise to remind them of their cowardice. "Who's left?"
Blaise boggled at them. "God, what took you so long? It's just Sprout and Snape now!"
Theo shrugged. "So, Prof. Sprout is next?"
Draco frowned at Theo, but ignored him, since Theo was kind of strange anyway. "That's right. Two left, and then we can finally call this to an end."
"To an end, Draco?" Theo arched an eyebrow. "Been having fun with drama, have you?"
"Shut it, Nott." Draco scowled and folded his arms across his chest.
"So Sprout, then. Let's go!" Chris led the way past the kitchens to Professor Sprout's office. Knowing she'd be at the ball, he didn't bother knocking and walked into her office. He put her picture on her desk so she'd see Blaise when she sat down.
Draco peeked a look at Sprout's desk and nodded in approval. "Good choice, Warrington."
"As opposed to a bad one?" Theo stuck his head into the doorway to get a look at them.
Chris looked at Draco and Blaise, who were each holding one picture. "Wait, if it's just Snape now, why do we have two pictures left?"
"Did we make too many?" Draco asked.
"There was another person here, wasn't there?" Theo looked at Chris for confirmation, ignoring Draco and Blaise. "Mr Lupin, isn't it?"
"Oh, right," said Chris, "Anyone know where he's staying?"
Blaise looked confused. "Wait, who?"
"The werewolf, Blaise." Draco's voice was slow and absent, the tone of someone who was repeating something he's said many times before.
"I haven't really seen him around anywhere, except at meals." Theo rubbed the back of his head in confusion.
"I need an elf, please," Chris said, and a house elf appeared. Chris took the picture from Draco's hand and gave it to the elf. "Can you take this to Professor Lupin, please?" The elf took it and vanished without a word.
"Now off to Professor Snape's!" Draco led the way this time. Theo shook his head and fell into step with the lot of them, relieved now that this was almost finished. "Professor Snape!" Draco called as he knocked on the door. "Professor Snape, are you there?"
Remus was alone in the quarters when he heard Draco knocking and calling for Severus. He briefly wondered if he should ignore it, but decided to answer in case it was something important. He stood and walked to the door. Holding a picture of Blaise Zabini in one hand, he opened the door with the other. Four Slytherins were there. "Yes?"
Draco gaped at Lupin, and the four of them stared at him in silence. Eventually, Draco cleared his throat. "Is Professor Snape there?"
It was suddenly very clear to Remus that he had just opened Severus's door in his blue and white pyjamas. This may have been a mistake. "Ah. No, not just now. Can I help you boys?"
"Ah." Draco cleared his throat again.
"We're giving everyone a Happy Christmas gift." Theo stepped forward and pushed Draco gently to the side, taking Draco's picture of Blaise. "I see the elf delivered yours already. Could you make sure Professor Snape gets his?" Theo beamed a smile and thrust the picture out in front of him.
Remus took it. "Of course I will. Anything else I can do for you?" Remus hoped the answer was no.
"That's it!" Theo smiled again. "Thanks. We really appreciate it."
"Any time. And thanks for my picture, boys. Happy Christmas." Remus closed the door and wanted to die.
"Well. That was interesting," said Chris.
Theo nodded, managing to take a deep breath and keep his composure, when he looked over at Draco and Blaise. Draco had a completely baffled look on his face, and Blaise--"Who was that guy?"
Theo shoved his hand over his mouth and started to laugh, his shoulders shaking with mirth.
"Remus Lupin," Draco answered for Blaise. "The werewolf that taught DADA in third year."
"Oh. Why was he in Professor Snape's quarters?" Blaise had to speak up because Chris had started laughing, too.
"I don't know." Draco frowned at Blaise. "I assume he was there for the wolfsbane potion."
Theo leaned against the wall, choking back his laughter and turning away from Draco and Blaise to try and calm himself down.
Chris was looking down with his fingers on his temples, attempting to regain composure. He wasn't sure how Draco and Blaise could be so clueless, and that was just as funny as anything else.
"Oh," said Blaise. "And why are these prats laughing like that?"
"That's an easy one," Draco answered, his face lightening. "It's because they're barmy. Come on, we're finally finished. I'm exhausted."
Chris pulled himself together enough to say, "We should probably give a picture to the elves to thank them for their hard work," and then broke down again.
Draco shook his head, finally joining in on the laughter. "Barmy, the lot of you. Come on, then." Now that their mission was complete, he was looking forward to some down time in the common room. He turned on his heel and began to walk, ignoring the other three that were still losing it behind him.